#ProjectM with the Adefila’s and Oyenuga’s
#ProjectM was awe-mazing and awesomenificient. The Fellowship hosted the Adefila’s (Mr. & Mrs A.) and the Oyenuga’s (Mr. & Mrs O). If you were not there, you missed a great deal. But not to worry, we got you covered. Below are some of the questions asked and the superb answers given by these awesome couples. Enjoy!
How has marriage been?
Mrs. A: Marriage has been lovely
and exciting. We’ve had highs and lows, ups and downs. Seven (7) years of dating, twelve (12) years of being married. Get married to your friend, not lover.
Mrs. O: When you say you do, you’re done with the “me, myself and I” lifestyle. Marriage has been beautiful and lovely. Marriage is sweet when you’re married to your life partner.
When last did you have a misunderstanding?
Mrs. O: An hour ago
Mrs. A: 25 minutes ago in the car.
How do you identify your spouse?
Mr. A: It is a complex thing. Trust your inner man. I met my wife when she was young, we became friends first.
People don’t come in the package you want. For example, I like women with hair, my wife doesn’t have hair as much as I want. But you can’t keep discarding people because of little things. With my wife it progressed from knowing her, liking her and loving her.
Is it cool if my friends set me up on a blind date?
Mrs O: No hard and fast rule to how people should meet. Blind date or not, whoever you meet, ask a lot of questions. Blind or open date, ask a lot of questions.
If you were to tell us three (3) important conversations to have from the beginning, what would they be?
Mr. O: foundational values.
- Your values (You must have values that align with one another).
- Core beliefs
- Your mission (Know the person’s mission from the beginning). You can read the signs from other nonverbal gestures.
There is a general notion that weddings are expensive. What can you tell us about weddings and cost?
Mr. A: Wedding is a fantasy, marriage is a reality. Spend on your wedding minimally not excessively. If your family members want to help you without affecting your pocket, you can allow them. Align your expenses.
How do you distinguish between a man that has potentials but currently handicapped and a guy that is simply bluffing?
Mrs. O: If you are not vain, you will see through a guy that bluffs. If you fall for him, then you also have a vain part. A guy doing nothing at all is not good. He will put the lady under a lot of pressure. A guy that loves you will do the most minimal job to put food on the table.
Q: He who finds a wife, finds a good thing…, for some reasons, a guy may not see a lady, in such instance, can she find him?
Mrs. A: Will I want my daughter to toast a guy? For me, that’s unacceptable. If I chase him, I’ll continually chase him in marriage, cos it is unacceptable. I can’t tolerate it. The lady should also try to be found but not at the risk of losing her respect.
Q: What’s your take on women retaining their maiden name. Is it a take on their submissiveness?
Mrs. A: I use my compound name sometimes as my dad insists. What is a name? it has nothing to do with whether you’re submissive or not.
Mr. A: if your husband doesn’t want it, you can try to work on it as a lady.
Make a forgiveness a lifestyle, forgive in advance. Pack a bag of forgiveness.
Mrs. O: Don’t do married men. They colour your world and slow you down. The package you’re seeing now is the product of someone else’s work. You’re seeing a finished product, he was once someone else’s raw material. It is red coal and it burns. “The devil usually appeals to our greed”.
Mrs. A: The guy will ask, you’re the one that will say “yes” at the end of the day.
I did not hear from God but I had peace of mind before marrying my husband. Put your faith aside, what kind of guy is good for you? Know yourself, don’t allow anyone dictate who you should be with. Don’t let your decisions be based on your finances. Don’t let social media dictate for you. Get to know the man before you say yes.
After the general Q & A session, there was a breakout session divided along gender lines, where the speakers were able to address gender-specific issues. Two lucky couples won the raffle draw and will be having a mentorship dinner/lunch with the Couples.